Chapter 4: Your Fourth Decade
Write Your Life Story for Posterity - Ages 30 through 39
This is the fourth newsletter in the A Journey of a Thousand Miles… series.
By Maureen Santini © Copyright 2017-2025 All Rights Reserved.
Experts say it takes a few decades for people to enter adulthood fully but conventional wisdom says it usually happens in a person’s thirties.
That’s when many people have additional children, settle down, buy homes and get serious about friendships, fitness and careers. One study says people are happiest at age 33.
If you’ve finished writing about your third decade, you are well on your way. Keep going!
If you are new to my method of writing your life story, read A Journey of a Thousand Miles … Next Steps.
Those who write about each decade as the decade articles are published will have finished writing their stories in record time! Just read the prompts and reply from memory.
Your fourth decade spans ages 30 through 39. If you were born in 1960, for instance, your fourth decade began in 1990. Begin writing as of your 30th birthday.
Your Life So Far
Researchers say a lot of benefits manifest in your thirties, indicating it is a decade of growth.
For instance, brainpower, holidays, job satisfaction, friendships, and happiness all allegedly improve in your thirties.
One study found people don’t feel truly happy until the age of thirty when they tend to worry less and live in the moment more. Around 70 percent of those surveyed hit their happiness peak in that decade.
Taking up new hobbies, pursuing further education, or focusing on personal growth are also cited as symbols of increased maturity at this life stage.
Basic Information
Always capture basic factual information in the following categories. Your goal is to provide key details that will enable future generations to form a clear picture of your lifestyle, way of life, and the kind of person you were.
Addresses
List the places you lived in your thirties including street addresses, town, state, country, and type of residence. Identify the people you were living with, if any, and your relationship to them.
Work
List the places you worked or volunteered in your thirties. Name the companies or organizations, job titles and duties, and other relevant details about these jobs. If you didn't work for a wage, describe how you spent the majority of time.
Relationships
Identify the main people in your life during your thirties including family members, friends, spouses or significant others. Explain how these relationships evolved from the beginning of the decade to the end.
If married, describe your courtship, wedding, and your experience of married life. If you married earlier, explain how married life was evolving. If you became a parent, address the challenges and rewards of child-raising and, if relevant, your experience of parenting and the ways it affected your life.
Skills, Hobbies, Interests
Aside from work, detail activities that occupied the majority of your time, such as reading, sports, cooking, politics, movies, crafts, religion, traveling, or education. Disclose which interests were new this decade.
Health and Welfare
State the status of your health and the health of your family. Characterize physical, mental, and emotional challenges you and those close to you faced.
Describe your frame of mind and ambitions. Compare them to those of your younger self. State whether you were satisfied with your life at the end of your thirties or seeking a different path.
Highlight positive and challenging situations involving your life, your work, your family, relationships, and friends. Mention events in your city, state, or nation that influenced your life.
Create a full portrait of your life at the time. Mention the positives but don’t shy away from discussing aspects of life that were less than perfect. We all have them.
“Our most painful experiences become our most defining moments. They determine who we are, or who we are not,” wrote noted author Mark Manson. He advises people to describe their most defining moments.
Expectations
Explain the expectations you had for your life and family as you entered your thirties and whether they materialized or changed during the decade. Express your expectations for the future.
Conclusion
Use these prompts as a guide. Add information about any topic, person, or event that was central to your life. Write in greater detail about events that were the most meaningful.
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The Chapter 5 newsletter, covering your forties, will be published on Tuesday.
How is it going? Reply below or email me directly at maureensantini@substack.com. All comments and suggestions welcome.
Restack and share these posts to encourage others to write their stories. Set aside a night every week to write. Urge family members to join you.
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Maureen Santini is a writer, researcher, and former journalist whose goal is to prevent the life stories of millions from ending up in the dustbin of history.