FAQ
By Maureen Santini © Copyright 2017-2024. All Rights Reserved.
Following are answers to questions about writing your life story for posterity.
Q: Since I’m not rich or famous, I doubt anyone would be interested in my life story.
A: That is a common concern, but it is a myth. First and foremost, your life is worth documenting simply because you lived it.
Second, your individual story is part of a much larger story about your extended family and your role in your nation’s history.
The best histories are those in which multiple people write in detail from their own perspectives. More than 108 million Americans are over the age of 50. If they die without writing their life stories, an irreplaceable loss of knowledge, wisdom, and history occurs.
Third, millions of genealogists are searching for information about ancestors. Most are seeking details about the lives of normal people who are part of their larger family tree.
Q: My family does not seem interested.
A: Many people develop an interest in family history at some point. Whether your relatives have reached that point is not relevant. Do not let the opinions of others sway you. Preserve the information while you can. Regrettably, the greatest demand often occurs when it is too late. Write your story for yourself now. Your descendants will be grateful.
A poll conducted by Ancestry.com showed that people do want information about their relatives.
Q: This project seems time-consuming.
A: If you have lived six or seven decades so far, and if you write about one decade each week, you will have a memoir in a matter of weeks. You can spend as much or as little time as you prefer. Once you capture basic facts, you can always add information as it occurs to you.
I have created a foolproof template to make the process as easy as possible. Individual blog posts for each decade of life guide you from one decade to the next. The First Decade post will be posted soon. Subscribe below to ensure that you do not miss any of them.
Q: I am not sure I can write well enough for such a project.
A: The decade-by-decade method works for everyone but was especially designed for those with minimal writing experience. The easy-to-follow template allows you to write your autobiography chronologically. One fact leads naturally to the next, mostly from your memory bank. Give it a try.
Q: Should I just write about highlights and leave the rest out?
A: It may be tempting to skip some details but try to resist the urge to edit yourself while writing. Every life is a mosaic of individual details about things that happened in each year. They all add up.
Think of the saying, “Can’t see the forest for the trees.” You are in the “trees” while writing. You may not fully grasp the “forest” until you complete your story or even well after.
For now, err on the side of including information rather than excluding. You can always revisit your decision after compiling a draft.
Q: How should I deal with the difficulties and traumas I, or my family, endured?
A: All of us face challenges and difficulties during our lives. The most worthwhile life stories are rigorously honest. Write about challenges and hurdles in a factual, matter-of-fact manner.
Q: What about family secrets that no one is supposed to talk about?
A: Many families have secrets that have been carefully guarded over the years. Consider whether it is time to let go of these secrets, particularly if the main people involved are no longer around or if society no longer considers the subject matter taboo.
Everyone is entitled to write his or her own story. Refrain from disclosing the secrets of others without permission. At the same time, custodians of such secrets should be willing to relinquish those that serve no ongoing purpose.
Q: What should I do with the memoir when I finish writing?
A: Set the manuscript aside for a few days. After you've edited it to correct spelling errors, consider having it bound for an affordable price at a copy shop. Give copies as gifts to family members. Encourage family and friends to write their own stories.
Q: What if I have additional questions once I am in the process of writing?
A: If you have difficulty deciding how to manage a sensitive subject, set it aside temporarily and keep going. In many cases, the problem will eventually resolve itself. Figuring out why the issue is a stumbling block may deepen your insight.
In addition, feel free to respond to these posts with your questions and comments. Other people may have similar questions. You may also email me directly with your comments, questions, and suggestions.
Q: Millions of people dying without writing their stories is an enormous loss of knowledge. But I wonder if anyone will read my story after I invest the time and effort.
A: If you are undecided, give it a try by following the prompts in the first-decade post. See how it goes. Then try the second decade post. Just keep going, a bit at a time.
Consider asking family members and friends to join you for a few writing sessions. Set aside a night each week to gather and write. Meeting together and comparing notes may bolster enthusiasm.
Even if you are on the fence, try the process anyway. The alternative is to arrive at a time when it will be too late and all the details of your life – that you alone possess – are lost to history. Write for yourself now because this process has proven benefits for the writer. But also write for posterity, meaning a generation or two or three into the future.
Remember that you are a historian of your own life as well as of a way of life, which future readers will find interesting. You also are likely to have valuable information to preserve about your parents, grandparents, and others.
Consider your life story part of the history of your family and your community. Don’t let your story be lost to the ages. You have nothing to lose.
Give this process a try. Encourage others to write their life stories by sharing this post with your friends and on social media.
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Maureen Santini is a writer, researcher, and former journalist who spent many years attempting to piece together a family history without the benefit of first-hand accounts of the lives of her ancestors.